Falling Beyond Dreams Read online

  Falling Beyond Dreams

  Book 2 Portland Lovers Series

  By

  SARA R STEWART

  Copyright © 2020 Sara R Stewart

  All rights reserved

  This is a work of fiction.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the author.

  Second Edition, June 2021

  ISBN-13: 979-8-5277-8784-9

  Cover design by: www.yuneekpix.com

  Printed in the USA

  DEDICATION

  For my mom. I love you bigger than a telephone pole.

  I miss you every day.

  Table of Contents

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  EPILOGUE

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I’d like to express my extreme gratitude to all of the incredible members of the New Hampshire branch of Romance Writers of America. I would also like to express my gratitude to all of the authors I met last year at the Fall in Love with New England (FILWNE) reader/author conference. It was your overwhelming welcome and willingness to share your expertise that helped me to find my way. Thank you to Jo Griffiths for her assistance with edits for the second edition of this publication.

  And last, but certainly not least I want to thank my family; Poki, Nyla, Anyanka and my mom, who have put up with my obsession with this journey and the hours that I spent writing, researching, and learning my craft. You are my people and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Cassandra

  “What ya doing?” asks my sister Paige via text.

  “Shelving books,” I text back.

  “Boring! Don’t you ever do anything fun? I need a distraction!” Paige calls me boring regularly and I feel bad every time. I don’t think I’m boring, I just like different things.

  “What from?” I ask. Trying to shift the attention from myself. It’s the weekend so my sister isn’t in class. We talk on the phone ever couple of weeks but she rarely texts me, so this is new.

  “I need something to think about besides this boring date I’m on.”

  “Paige! That is rude, why don’t you end the date if you aren’t in to the guy?” I cannot even imagine texting while sitting across from someone on a date. My sister can be so insensitive sometimes.

  “I can’t, he’s been sharing his class notes with me and I need those notes. I cannot stay awake in that class; the professor is so boring. Tell me about your last date?” I’m boring, her date is boring and her class is boring. I’m thinking that the problem, boring, is the common denominator.

  “I haven’t been on a date in so long I don’t actually remember the last one.” It’s true, the realization hits me like a ton of bricks. Wow, I should really do something about that. Maybe I am boring.

  “Of course not. Okay, I’m texting Mom and at least she’ll have something to tell me. Love you.”

  “Love you too!”

  I love books. I mean, I really love books. When I was a child, I would take a book with me to the playground so I could read rather than playing whatever game the other kids were playing. If you look up bookworm in the dictionary you will find me there with my thick dark rimmed glasses low on the bridge of my nose which is firmly planted in a book. I love books so much that I became a librarian. Now wipe that image out of your mind, I know you went there. I am not what you imagine, the term sexy librarian was not created with me in mind. I’m short, rail thin with no hips or breasts to speak of. I ran track in high school but up until now that was the only type of physical exercise I could stand.

  On any week day you will find me in the library, where I work, in Northeast Portland. I’m a nine to five librarian as I’ve been there now for over five years, it is a coveted position. Portland is a great town for bookworms like me, there are a lot of rainy days where you just want to stay inside and read. On every other weekend I work two shifts at one of the best bookstores around, Burnside’s Books. It is a huge book store in downtown Portland, Oregon. I’ll admit I work there because I have a book buying habit I cannot afford. Some girls buy clothes or shoes, for me it’s books.

  Right now, I’m in the dusty basement storeroom unpacking the new books Burnside’s has received, tagging them and putting them on shelving carts by floor and then by category. It is pretty cool because I get to see all kinds of new books on anything and everything. For example, right now I have an Ethiopian cookbook I’m tagging but a minute ago I was working on a box of new young adult fantasy novels. I’m not a purest you see, I read everything. I love fiction, non-fiction, self-help and how to books. I just love to read. Reading is basically my entire life and if it wasn’t for my best friend Sabrina, I’d rarely do anything else.

  Sabrina is very laid back; I call her Zen but she hates that. She is a nutritionist at one of our great local hospitals here and is a strict vegan. She and I get along great because we are both okay with just being and not participating in the rat race. We met in college on the track team and started our friendship as teammates. Then when we both returned to Portland after going away to different grad schools, we started running together again to keep in shape. Now we still hang out a few times a week and either go running or as of late, rock climbing. That is our new thing and I have to take credit for it because I read a book about rock climbing and wanted to try it out. We both love it. Sabrina and I are unicorns here in Portland as we both grew up here and that is pretty rare.

  I finish tagging and shelving the new books and I take an hour to do pick up and re-shelving and take my break to grab a coffee. Burnside’s Books has a great in-house coffee shop. I have a fifteen-minute break and I spend it with a coffee in one hand and a book in the other. Right now, I’m reading a new book about why white people shy away from talking about race. It is pretty spectacular; I wish more people would read it. It is pouring rain outside, typical for early spring and one of the reasons I love the season. The rain streams down the windows and I can see my reflection staring back at me. Straight dark hair pulled back in a messy bun, dark square rimmed glasses because I am practically blind, I have a heart shaped face with high sharp cheekbones and blue eyes. My eyes are my favorite feature, they are an unusual blue that is darker than most blue eyes.

  After work I head back to my house to meet up with Sabrina. We’re going out for some dinner in the Pearl and are going to a new restaurant that has been getting great reviews. Sabrina even made a reservation as she was afraid, we’d have to wait forever to get in. Neither one of us likes waiting to go eat. Maybe it is our runners’ metabolism but we both get hangry fast.

  When I get home, I shower and dry my hair and put on my favorite casual dress. It is basically a flannel shirt but it is extra-long and with a belt. It is brown and blue and teal and I wear it with nude tights and tall boots that are brown and go above my knee. I think it is a cute ou
tfit and I love how comfortable it is. Because we are actually going out, I wear my hair down, which is rare for me. I also don contacts which I only wear on occasion. I feel like I am in disguise but it also feels fun, almost as if I’ve put on a different personality. Sabrina arrives and we catch a Radio Cab to the Pearl. The restaurant has a line out the door and I’m grateful Sabrina made a reservation.

  We are taken to a two seated high-rise table in the bar near a beautiful wall light fixture that is practically an art piece and a fireplace all in one. And then we wait, and wait and wait some more until finally I ask Sabrina what time our reservation was for.

  “The reservation was for seven and they sat us thirty minutes ago. We don’t have drinks or menus yet and I’m beginning to think this place isn’t worth our time,” she says with her hangry out in full force.

  “I’m going to go ask the bartender if that is normal. If it is, I say we go somewhere else,” I reply and get off my stool to approach the bar. The bar is fully seated and there are people standing around waiting on drinks as well. The hostess is back up front and I have no idea who our server is otherwise I would have just approached them.

  When I finally get up to the bar after waiting for a man to walk off with two drinks in hand, I see there are two bartenders and both are with customers right now. So, I wait and watch. The bartender closest to me is gorgeous. He has dark skin and hair and tattoo sleeves up both arms as far as I can see. He’s wearing a black button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up that fits him so snugly I can see the definition of the muscles in his upper arms and chest. He must have sensed I was looking at him because just then he looks and noticing me watching him, he winks. I can feel that wink all the way down to my toes and it takes me aback. I cannot remember the last time a man has impacted me so. After he finishes the order he is working on, he comes right over to me and leans over the bar so he is close to me.

  “What are you having beautiful?”

  “Actually, I have a question. We were seated by the hostess without menus thirty minutes ago and haven’t seen our server once. I’m wondering if that is normal and if we’re in for a long wait, or if perhaps somehow the server wasn’t notified we were seated?”

  “That’s not good,” says the gorgeous bartender. “Where are you seated?”

  I point to Sabrina and say, “right there.”

  “I’ll have someone over to you right away, and no that is not our normal service. Let me give you two drinks on the house for your patience. What can I get you?”

  “How about two glasses of Cabernet, maybe something local?” His intense focus on me with his amazing eyes is making me feel nervous, I really should date more.

  “Sure thing,” he says pouring me two large glasses and handing them over. “I’ll be over later to check on your drinks and make sure you are both doing okay,” he says and winks again which leaves me flustered to say the least.

  “Thank you,” I say and walk back to the table and hand Sabrina her wine and explain what the bartender said. Before I’m done filling her in, our server is at the table with menus and an apology. Apparently, she was on break when we came in and hostess rearranged tables so she didn’t even know we were her table. After giving us a few minutes to pick our meals she came back quickly to take our food order and bring us bread to snack on while we waited.

  “How was Burnside’s today?”

  “Same old, same old. I found a few more used copies of the books I’ve been looking for come in so that is great. Totally worth it.”

  “You crack me up, Chica. You have a master’s degree in library science and work a full-time job and then work at that book store on the weekend. I don’t know how you do it.”

  “I love books, what can I say? Besides, I only work 2 weekends a month so it isn’t too much. What did you do this weekend?”

  “Funny you should ask. I signed us up for the Shamrock run again.”

  “I thought we weren’t going to do it this year?”

  “I know, I know but the team we were in last year was bugging me for us to join and they are trying to use it to fundraise for one of the team members to get top surgery and I couldn’t say no.”

  “Is that for Max?”

  “Yes.”

  “I would have said yes too. Okay, you know I’m always game. We will have to get some extra running in to prepare. Did you sign us up for the 8K or 15K?”

  “15K, of course. Go big or go home. Hey, you know that bartender you spoke to earlier?”

  “Yeah?”

  “He's on his way over here now and you were right he is yummy.”

  “Hey ladies, how is your dinner so far?”

  “Totally worth the wait, but thanks for sending over the server when you did. I thought Sabrina was going to bite off my hand,” I joke.

  “Totally was,” Sabrina jokes back.

  “I’m glad to hear that. Things have really been picking up for us since that review in the Oregonian and we’re still adjusting to the growth. I really appreciate your patience. We are going to comp your dessert, so save some room.”

  “Thank you, that's so nice of you.” I blush and look away. His attention has been focused on me since arriving at the table and his eyes are intense. This guy is way too sexy for me and I’m a bit out of sorts and unsure how to handle the attention.

  “Not so nice, I’m actually hoping it might grease the wheels a bit for me so I can ask you out.”

  I'm sure when I look up at him, I look startled or like a deer caught in headlights. To say I don’t get asked out a lot would be an understatement. I can't remember the last time someone randomly approached me for a date. Actually, I can, never.

  “I uh, I don’t know,” I finally stammer.

  “Please, excuse her. She's tongue tied. She meant yes, of course she’d love to go out with you and she's currently single,” Sabrina volunteers for me. I give her a death stare then look at the guy standing there waiting for me to say something.

  “I don’t even know your name,” I eventually get out.

  “My name is Zane McKay. I’m from San Francisco, but have lived in Portland for the last three years. Now you know a little about me, what’s your name?”

  “I’m… I’m Cassandra Tempest, Cassie actually! I grew up here.”

  “Hi, Cassie. It's truly a pleasure to meet you. I have to get back to the bar, so let’s do this shall we,” he says as he leans over and writes his name and phone number on a notepad he pulled from his apron. “Why don’t you take my number and think about it and if you decide you might like to see me again call or text me. No pressure. I just really like your smile.”

  “Okay, thanks Zane,” I manage to get out and then watch him go back to work. I think I’m staring because Sabrina kicks me under the table.

  “Oh, my god. How could you not say yes to that sexy man?” she almost squeals.

  “Ugh, because it doesn’t make sense why he would want to go out with me. I’ve never been asked out like that before or by someone so incredibly sexy. I think my tongue may actually have gotten tied in knots just trying to think about it.”

  “Okay, so I agree he is all kind of sexy, but you are too. Tell me you are going to text that man when you get home.”

  “Maybe?”

  “What am I going to do with you, Cassie? I’m dying of jealousy here and you say maybe. If some fine ass woman had come over and asked me out, she wouldn’t have to wait to find out my answer. Now what are we getting for dessert?”

  Later, at home, I feed my cat and get into bed with a glass of wine and my journal. I need to explore my feelings about Zane and the idea of going on a date with him before I make a decision or make a fool of myself. Writing out all my thoughts on a pros and cons list, I read back what I wrote out loud. This is how I make all of my major decisions; I am not the kind of person that rushes into things.

  Quickly I realize the main reason I’m holding back is fear of how to behave on a date wi
th someone as attractive as Zane. I know how to be myself, but based on how cool he looks; I seriously doubt I’m the kind of girl he normally goes out with. I am the opposite of cool, a lifelong book nerd, I wouldn’t know something fashionable if it fell in my lap. Also, I’m not sure I want to be dating anyone right now. My life is kind of perfect as it is. I love my job, my home and my life. Why complicate things by adding something new. The romantic in me counters these thoughts with why not take a chance on something new and exciting. After all I do not know what kind of person Zane is or what type of expectations he has and I don’t have to be anything but myself.

  Ultimately, after I get out all my anxiety I decide to say yes. But for coffee not a date and somewhere public that I can leave if it doesn’t feel right. Picking up my phone I decide to shoot off a text to Zane.

  Cassie: I’m willing to meet up for coffee sometime if you like.

  I didn’t get a response. The message was delivered which means that most likely his phone is off. I don’t expect an answer back right away because he is working, but a girl can always hope, right? Besides the restaurant was still super busy when we left and Zane looked backed up at the bar. Deciding that if I hear back anything it will not be until tomorrow, I go to sleep.

  Monday mornings are always hard, even if you love your job. I started my day drenched from running to my car to drive to work in the pouring rain. It rains a lot in Portland, but this is much harder and more torrential than normal. By the time I get to my desk my hair is plastered to the sides of my face and I’m sure I look like a racoon with mascara running under my eyes and I even had on a raincoat. I didn't use an umbrella; Oregonians do not use umbrellas.

  Doing what I can with my wet hair and makeup, I change out of my wet blouse into my emergency top I keep in my desk. I quickly get going through my email and calendar and then start on reviewing the circulation logs.